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Women\\\'s+Issues
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| Oh, What a Differenc ...
Oh, What a Difference She Made
by
Lisa Earle McLeod
SUMMARY:
The Post is excited to bring you the debut of Forget Perfect, a weekly column by nationally recognized speaker and author Lisa Earle McLeod. McLeod, a Snellville resident, has been a regular columnist for Lifetime magazine and featured in Glamour, Real Simple and The New York Times. Her columns will appear in Saturdays Lifestyle section. |
The Post is excited to bring you the debut of Forget Perfect, a weekly column by nationally recognized speaker and author Lisa Earle McLeod. McLeod, a Snellville resident, has been a regular columnist for Lifetime magazine and featured in Glamour, Real Simple and The New York Times. Her columns will appear in Saturdays Lifestyle section.
Every woman at some point in her life has a moment. Its that instant in time when you quit going through the motions and actually think about your life and what it all really means. My moment occurred at my mothers funeral. I was 29 years old and seven months pregnant with my first child. My mother had died at the age of 53 after a yearlong battle with breast cancer.
We hadnt had one of those shes my best friend relationships that seem to only exist in feminine hygiene ads. In fact, we had several falling-outs over the years, but during her illness we were able to put that behind us and become close again. Cancer does that. Here I was at her funeral. I had on my very expensive maternity suit and looked quite the sophisticate. I was the embodiment of my mothers dream, a professional woman about to have my first child, proof that women really could have it all.
After a few of the usual words from the priest, others rose to speak. Former students talked about her lasting impact on their lives, neighbors spoke of her community activism, a letter was read about two foster children she had taken in.
As the list went on and on, I started wondering if I was at the right funeral! Was this the poor housekeeper who lost it on a daily basis, screaming while her children ignored her? The woman who cut up SPAM on top of baked beans and called it a casserole? Surely this was not the woman being so eloquently eulogized.
As I listened to people pay tribute to my mother I thought long and hard about what a difference she made. She wasnt perfect, far from it, yet she obviously had played a major role in the lives of everyone there.
That day was my wake-up call. My mother had died and I suddenly realized the obvious: One day so would I. My fancy house, impressive job and even the great Christmas party I gave every year didnt seem quite so wonderful as I sat there listening to everyone eulogize a mother, teacher and friend.
That what in the world am I doing with my life moment was when I started thinking about womens lives and what will really matter when its all said and done.
As I look back on that service, I suspect my mother would have been surprised by it as well. To her, life probably seemed like an endless to-do list and she could never seem to get it all checked off. But the sum of our lives isnt how perfectly we can handle every item on our lists, or even whats on the list to begin with. Its the impact we have on others.
My mother did some pretty important things with her life. And if she didnt know it while she was alive, I hope she does now. It isnt always easy to remember whats going to matter most at the end of the day. Especially when our hectic pace leaves us little time to even think about it. But we deserve more than just going through the motions of life. We deserve to live our lives knowing that at our funeral everyone will be saying, Oh, what a difference she made to me.
Lisa Earle McLeod is nationally recognized speaker and the author of Forget Perfect: Finding Joy, Meaning, and Satisfaction in the Life Youve Already Got and the YOU You Already Are.
Article Source: http://www.elrincondelantropologo.com/
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| About the Author |
Lisa Earle McLeod is a syndicated columnist, a nationally recognized speaker and the author of Forget Perfect: Finding Joy, Meaning, and Satisfaction in the Life Youve Already Got and the YOU You Already Are. (Penguin/Putnam) She has been featured in Real Simple, Essence, and The New York Times and seen on Good Morning America, Lifetime and FOX.
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